I’ve always dreamed that one day in my life I’d stumble upon a beautiful place and live out some kind of deliciously over indulgent scenario. I’d blame it on too many Wes Anderson movies, if such a thing could ever exist. These dreams always include opulence, pastel colours, and some kind of matchy matchy outfit… Clearly Wes gets his ideas from somewhere! Surely, by now, someone has taken inspiration from The Grand Budapest Hotel and made it into some kind of tangible experience?
And then I discovered Sketch.
Clearly I have died and gone to heaven!
Can you believe such a magical place exists? And it’s in London? I KNOW! Hidden just off Oxford Street in Mayfair, this slice of happiness is part of a converted 18th century building which have been transformed into several different dining rooms and bars. Each one is busting full of cool art and beautiful interiors that you could easily spend days in exploring.
When your favourite sarcy artist from Glasgow gets involved in decorating the china, you know you’re in the right place. David Shrigley knows exactly what I need in my life right now; a combination of dirt, dust and nothing. My god, I want these shakers, they are too good!
Phenomenal, right? But there is one catch for whiling away the hours here; you can only dine in this beautiful room if you order Afternoon Tea… which will cost you 42 fine English Pounds for the experience. Per Person. Pretty darn lavish, right? Who spends that kind of money on tea and cakes? Well, I’m not ashamed to admit the candy pinkness of the room seemed to have seeped into my brain and rotted it a little, because we ended up ordering Afternoon Tea. This is hands down the craziest thing I’ve ever blown money on, but it’s my birthday month and all; in for a penny, in for a pound. But I bet you’re all wondering . . . was it worth it?
Well, in a nutshell, no. That is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on tea and cake! But to be honest, I was spending the money on feeling like a princess for an afternoon, knowing I was going home to being a pauper for at least a month. The sandwiches, cakes and tea are very nice and all, but they’re not really anything particularly special. When you’re forking out that kind of cash, you should be getting insanely good stuff, you know? I think the only thing that I was interested in was the tiny speckles of caviar on the quails egg sandwich, because I don’t normally eat that sort of stuff (FYI, we actually ordered the VEGETARIAN platter and caviar was still served, good one Sketch!), but for goodness sake, if you’re ever going to try a tiny bit of caviar, it’s going to be in Mayfair dah-ling. Needless to say it didn’t taste of anything really, and the sandwich itself was pretty run of the mill despite the fancy filling. It all looks wonderful sitting on those David Shrigley cake stands, but if you did one of those blind fold comparison tests, Marks and Spencers would have probably won if pitched against it…
NOW DONT GET ME WRONG, I had a totally great time, Sketch is an amazing place and I am so so glad that I got the chance to go, but I see so many people blog about these awesome things and when you experience them in reality they can be a bit of a let down. I am under no circumstances bitter about the experience, quite the opposite actually, I’d just rather give you my honest feedback. Sketch is beautiful and 100% worth the visit, but don’t feel like you’re missing out on the afternoon tea if you can’t afford it. Our waitress was a little on the snooty side and kept trying to take our plates away whilst we were still eating and we were too frightened to ask for some water for the table because there were no prices on anything. While the manager did kindly let us split two afternoon tea’s between the three of us, it was clear we were already out on a limb with our financial status. I thought the whole thing was spectacularly entertaining, but the faint hearted would probably find it a little uncomfortable.
BUT LOOK AT HOW PRETTY IT IS!
Overall, I did have a great time here, but it really made me realise how grateful I am for the life that I have. I’m so fortunate even without these things! Although it was lovely to dip my toe into the land of the rich, I’m pleased to say that I now know for sure I’m not missing out on anything. Money can’t buy you happiness, although it can buy you beautiful surroundings.
Oh, and pods for toilets. HAHA!
So next time you’re popping into your local bakery for a cupcake that costs less than a bus fare, daydreaming about what you’d be doing if you were rich, you can rest assured that you would be doing the exact same thing, only you would be doing it riding a horse made of gold, because clearly that is a better way to spend your hard earned pennies. haha!
In summery, you can’t indulge in a Wes Anderson moment without falling in love and getting in over your head; this was perfection.
Check out my previous blog post for my outfit info and more pictures of Sketch.