After my post last week on how to wear what you want, I got such a lovely response from you all that I thought I might continue my plight on sharing my insight and advice on all the little things. It’s a bit of a different way to approach my outfit posts, but heck, why not!!
So, this week I’ve been having a lot of conversations with people about their age, and I think it’s a real shame that many friends get upset about it. I don’t mean to burst your bubble here lovelies, but growing older is inevitable and there is no way to stop the clock or roll it back… so rather than mourn over your fading youth, you need to learn how to embrace what great new things are on the horizon. Accepting the facts and letting go of your fear of a number is extremely liberating. Sure that can be a struggle at first, but trust me, it’s worth the effort!
For those of you who are wondering how old I am, I’m proud to share that I’m 30. But has it changed me over time? Not really; I still feel the same, get frustrated over some things and have become more confident in others, but I didn’t wake up one day and turn into an adult. Does that mean I have to tone down my look and stop fooling around? No, of course not! Do you think I look 14? I don’t care. In fact, if you do think that I’m totally flattered. Clearly I’ve been doing something right all these years! I still get ID’d in bars and (more than once) I was asked if I should have a child ticket for the bus. Amazing, right? People get very cagy about being asked their age in these situations; I revel in it. There is nothing more satisfying than someone thinking you’re 18 and then seeing their face change when they check out your date of birth. These reactions are priceless, and, for me, always lead to some great conversations about life. I think that’s because I’m totally comfortable with it. Getting angry that people think you’re young is such a waste of time, and I always feel bad for the person who’s job it is to do it. I mean really, they don’t give two hoots, they’re being paid to ask!
It’s a funny thing age – when you’re young you’re desperate to be older, and when you’re older you struggle to take each year on the nose. Focussing on what the number means is really a pointless exercise. Sure, you have more responsibilities and yes, you’re friends start settling down and popping out babies, but that’s nothing to be concerned about. Your life progress is totally unique to you, and what’s right for them by a certain age doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Some of my closest friends have great 9 to 5 jobs, are getting married and having babies and that’s wonderful. But me? I’m happy dressing like a sailor and working on my own projects still. I’m sure I’ll find my special someone and settle down when the universe is ready for me to. Finding happiness in what you’ve got is incredibly important. Focussing all your thoughts and energy on what others have achieved and getting depressed if you’re not ‘keeping up the pace with them’ is a super negative way to deal with anything. No wonder growing older is horrible for you!
Sadly for me, I lost a couple of very close people who were my age during my 20’s. Dealing with mortality at that age is a very difficult thing, but it’s made me appreciate everything I have and I like to embrace getting older as I feel like I’m so fortunate to have that opportunity. Besides this, I’ve also found that each decade is a whole new entity in itself and I’m excited to see what comes next. With going to school, being a teen, and heading to art school being the main pillars in my life so far, each stage has been brilliant, but I would never want to go back and relive my youth. I’m much more excited by the surprises that are in the future, because although I’ve had my ups and downs, if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that finding a way to ramble through the bad times has always got some great rewards and super fun opportunities in it. As I always say, there is always a silver lining.
It’s so valuable to learn that the grass is not always greener, and things are never as they seem. To you things may look so bright in everyone else’s world, but in reality, what you’re seeing is more like a facebook status. From a simple snapshot of someone else’s life, you can not see their struggles and downfalls, fails and fears, but they certainly exist. Just because they seem to have everything going on for them doesn’t actually translate into truth. Sure, a great job and being settled down is a wonderful thing, but I bet sometimes those people wish they had the freedom and security to live the way you do sometimes. For all the hours spent fretting about getting older and what you’re ‘going to loose’, you’re failing to see what incredible new things you’re going to gain. You stop caring so much about the little things like what people think about you. You get more confident and comfortable in your skin and you start to appreciate things from a new perspective. Holding onto anger seems like a waste of time when you could be going out and enjoying the day instead. You get compassionate for your friends and family and really start to learn and understand your place in the world because you realise, that actually, you don’t know everything. Investing time learning new things is no longer a chore, but something you crave; your curiosity becomes strong and you learn through experience to become wise. Being able to share your life stories and insights is a beautiful thing and will never fail in creating a bond between friends. What’s not to love about that?
And remember, getting older doesn’t mean you have to get boring. It’s not been until this year that I’ve got my first ever girl gang, decided to learn how to rollerskate, and embraced sharing stuff like this on the internet. They’re all amazing experiences that have come later in life for me, but I’m so delighted that now’s the time for me to experience them. If you think back to a few years ago and where you thought you’d be now, I bet you’ll be dissapointed that you didn’t tick some of those things off that list. But did you make a secondary list with all the incredible things that happened to you which came out of the blue? Because that’s where the real treasures are. Life genuinely isn’t about the destination, it’s 100% about the journey and the interesting ways you get lost along the way.I hope this makes you feel a bit better about growing old disgracefully. Celebrate your birthday’s and laugh till you get wrinkles because that’s the true sign of a good life.
At the end of the day, always, always look forward to what crazy look you’re going to rock when you’re ninety. I’m having a blue rinse and I’m going to have one hell of a wingtip collection by then. To me, that’s heaven. I don’t really mind what happens in the meantime, I’m sure it will be a blast.